I may be old, but that doesn't matter any more.

 If you have been following me for a while now, you will see that though this started as a blog about being an older, first-time mother, in reality, it's now just about being a mom. 

There are times when my age will still come into play, this goes without saying, however, a lot of the struggles I face, so do many other moms.

I found out recently that a friend of ours just had her first. A little boy, now a month old. And she left her partner. I don't know the reasons and frankly, I wasn't going to ask. It's her business, not mine. But she is proud to call herself a single mother. She is up for the challenge and ready to take on the world. After a nap, and possibly a gallon of coffee. Knowing what we deal with as a couple, I can only imagine what she faces alone. She is younger, and she admits she has more energy than me, and we can laugh about it, but she is also exhausted, you can see it in her eyes. So, if for no other reason than a good laugh, I hope that these blog posts will brighten your day, help you realize that we all go through the same things as parents, alone or not. 

Lets all crawl together!

 Crawling. 

A double edge sword. Yes, I want you to crawl, show development, and will be super cute. Oh dear god please don't crawl yet, I don't have baby gates! But please crawl, it's one step closer to walking and sitting up on your own. But BABY GATES! I need to buy some, please don't crawl yet........

Does anyone else go through this?

Sure all moms do. We want our kids to grow and develop, hit those milestones faster than other kids, cause, well, ours is the best of course. But crawling will present more obstacles and challenges. 

Looking around the apartment, we realize that we have a lot of shelves and a lot of things on those shelves. And no doors on them. Nothing to hide things away from a crawling baby who will undoubtedly start to get into everything..... EVERYTHING! Not only do we need baby gates, but we will also need baby locks on doors... doors on shelves that we don't have. Time to upgrade, but new cabinets with doors, so that we can lock things away from the reach of a growing baby. 

A friend joked that it was a sign of my age, wanting cabinets with doors on them. The fact that it is to stop baby-grabbing things seemed to go over her head. It's an old lady thing. Keep the dust off. No! Keep out of babies' hands! That's not an age thing, right?

Every day we do our crawling exercises. I have her on the floor on her tummy and we band our legs, push off mommy's legs and go through the motions. Mommy then lays next to her and demonstrates how to crawl. This results in laughing and rolling, not quite the crawling expert yet, but she's getting the message and tries every day to coordinate her arms and legs. I want her to crawl, we can play more games, chase her around, etc. But seriously.... Baby gates. 

#firsttimemom #newbaby #oldermom #momlife #parentingstruggles #mommyneedsabreak

Sleep deprived but still doing what needs to be done

 Sleep... who needs sleep (insert maniacal laugh)?

The last two weeks have been hard. My partner is now on a new pay schedule, so the budget just got a lot tighter. The little one is rolling for Canada and eating lots of solid foods, giving her the energy of the energizer bunny through the day..... and night. 

The housework is still getting done and the family is well-fed. All things that happen on autopilot. Though probably, not done to the highest standard that it is usually. 

We were told by her doctor that the more solid foods she eats during the day, means that she will go to bed with a fuller tummy and sleep better. But, I don't think she told the baby. While night feeds have all but stopped, we are waking up every couple of hours with so much energy! the rolling, laughing, playing. Quiet time means we scream louder as it echos in the nursery, and this is so much fun. When I say screams, she has a happy scream that she does in short bursts. Not a pain or fear scream, just one that then changes into laughing and excited noises. 

Now, I need my sleep, and I'm sure every mom everywhere can agree that age will come into play a little bit here. Younger mothers are better equipped with the younger body that can handle lack of sleep, for probably a few days more than someone like me. I've been operating on broken sleep for two weeks now, and enough is enough. But, when I ask for help, no one is around. My partner does what he can when he can, but he works nights, so that's hard too. 

So how do we process this? Copious amounts of caffeinated drinks. Like, hook me up to an IV and just keep it flowing. Catnaps, when she naps and prayers for the weekend to come quick so that daddy can take over and let mommy, sleep. Fingers crossed that this sleep pattern breaks soon. 

#firsttimemom #newbaby #oldermom #momlife #parentingstruggles #mommyneedsabreak

Toothpaste or no toothpaste, that is one question

 So now that we have teeth, we should brush them. We were given a soft starter toothbrush at the baby shower, but no toothpaste. Now, is that because you don't learn with toothpaste at first? Is toothpaste not safe enough for infants as they don't get the concept of spitting it out? Brushing your own teeth is second nature, you don't remember someone teaching you this basic life skill.

How am I supposed to teach her? is there a certain way to do it? And seriously! Toothpaste or no toothpaste?

When we had our last vaccines, we were told that when her teeth start to show, you can start brushing. But that was all the guidance we were given. Hopefully, her pediatrician will go into more detail at her next check-up. Till then, it's off to the grocery store to see what the toothpaste boxes say.

Well, it turns out that you can buy training toothpaste. Did you know that? I feel like at my age I should have. It's designed for infants as young as three months and is safe if (as you know it will be) swallowed. 

So, here begins the teeth brushing journey. I set up her inflatable chair in the bathroom, wet the toothbrush, applied (less than the stated amount) of toothpaste, and looked her dead in the eye. "Ok kid, here goes nothing" I put the toothbrush in her mouth, let her chew on it for a second, then slowly started to "brush" her tiny teeth. Fortunately, she laughed and smiled. We are off to a good start! Now, to do this twice a day.....

#firsttimemom #newbaby #oldermom #momlife #parentingstruggles #mommyneedsabreak

And, we are on the move!

 So, for the last month or so, we have been learning to move. 

Rolling is the current way to go, we roll off the play mat, under the coffee table, under the sofa, into the tv stand, and everywhere that there is an open space. We kinda throw our body around to change direction, but I think that's more luck than anything else. We are learning that it hurts when we get frustrated and slam our head on the floor. 

The jolly jumper? Oh, this is the most amazing thing in the world! when we are done with the rolling, we love to stand up and then bounce, another couple of skills we have been working on too. Stomping our feet, bouncing around to make the music play, standing straight up! 

Unfortunately, our attention span is that of an infant. Short and not always sweet. The rolling is great, as it means mom has to get up constantly to catch me, pull me out from under that furniture, or sit on the floor with me as we work on sitting up on our own. Or she has to stand next to me in the jumper, showing me how to bounce, stand up straight, or pick me up within seconds of putting me in it as I've decided I need a diaper change. 

Mom always makes me laugh when she hast to get me, the grunts and creaking sounds as she bends to pick me up or get up off the floor just make me belly laugh so much! 

Yes, there are days when I have to accept that my body is older than most, and will complain when I ask it to do things. Sometimes, bits of me will crack that I didn't know could, or should. The joints in my knees groan and hurt as I get up off the floor. Good to know that it makes her laugh and that she doesn't understand yet what it means. Good to know too that I have a good chiropractor and massage therapist that I see for some self-love and care, which these old bones need. But once again, the little voice in the back of your head speaks up. You're old. Older than the traditional mom, can you do this?

Silence you! Yes, yes I can do this! 

#firsttimemom #newbaby #oldermom #momlife #parentingstruggles #mommyneedsabreak

What is this strange and unusual stuff you are giving me?

 Real food!!!!

We are now at that age where we can start to introduce real foods. And by real foods, we mean the baby cereals you can buy. Though at first she was limited to oat or rice, now being six months old, she can have oat and rice cereals, but with fruit flakes. Or something out of a jar. 

Breakfast and dinner have now become a great source of entertainment for me and my partner. She has a lot of different facial expressions when trying new foods. If she likes it, she will throw herself forward to get to the spoon as you are trying to get the food onto it. If she doesn't, well, then you chase her face around making nom-nom noises and try to slip the spoon in when she opens her mouth to "talk back to you".

Now, this is where my age comes into play a little. I strongly believe in real home-cooked food. Especially when it comes to my family. It's not very often you will see me cooking with jars and jars of pre-made sauces and things. Don't get me wrong, they are great if you are in a rush, lacking inspiration or time. I do believe that pre-made foods have a place. But being as I am home now, I can take the time to cook foods from scratch and have her sit in her high chair, in the kitchen with me, so I can start to teach her too. I talk to her and explain what I'm doing. Most of the time she is more interested in her toys, but there are moments when I pretend she looks interested. 

The premade baby foods are a great introduction for her and I know that they are formulated to help her grow and are high in iron etc. But, when she gets a bit older and is having three meals a day, I will be making her own food and blending it. A mix of different fruits and vegetables, beef, chicken, all blended together. No seasonings, just let the natural flavors come through. While I know you can buy the little jars of baby food, making my own gives me more control over what she eats. Also, I object to paying almost two dollars for a small jar of food that is gone in two meals. 

As her teeth come in more, and she gets more teeth, we will blend less and less so that she can start to use them and learn how to chew more. My Partner is so excited for her to have her first steak. 

Till then, baby food it is, she loves the multigrain and fruits in the morning and rice with a jar mixed in for flavor in the evening. 

#firsttimemom #newbaby #oldermom #momlife #parentingstruggles #mommyneedsabreak

Teeth! They are cute and small.

 Well, Christmas has come and gone. Christmas day we spent stressing out over cooking, opening presents, spending time with the family, and dealing with teeth.

Yes, on Christmas day we discover why our precious little princess had been impersonating Golem for several days. The fussing and the crying and the screaming. All on repeat. Christmas morning I notice she is chewing on a lot of different things, drooling all over the place and her little cheeks are all red. I look inside her mouth, and there are two little teeth that have popped up, literally overnight. 

Now, I have helped a lot of friends with their children through different stages, but it occurred to me that teething was not one of them. Suddenly, my partner and bouncing baby are both looking at me for help. Here I am looking at google, texting a friend of mine who has two kids of her own. I should know this, I should know what to do to help this little angel. But I don't. 

We do have a teething toy that you put in the freezer, supposed to help the pain and irritation in her gums, that has fortunately been in the freezer for months, so we take it out and give it to her. The look on her face went from, yuk that's cold, to ooo that feels nice too, we're done, I don't want this and got thrown across the room. All within a few seconds. So that's not going to work. I know I can buy teething drops to help, small 1ml vials you pour in her mouth, but it's Christmas day, none of the shops are open. Her Grandma suggests whiskey. Well, I know that back in the day people did. However, we have to be really careful what we give her, she has issues when she was born and took a lot to keep her out of the NICU. Don't want to go there today. 

We dose her up on Tylenol and hope that this will help her till we can get to the shops.

Boxing day was easier. Except, to help her now, she likes to bite. Bite her toys, bite the nipples on the bottles.... bite your fingers/hands/arms/neck, whatever she can reach. She's become a vampire. 

#firsttimemom #newbaby #oldermom #momlife #parentingstruggles #mommyneedsabreak