Not long ago, my partner and I were at a family function. My cousin was getting ready to travel overseas for school. We got talking to a couple who were friends of my Aunts. They were in their 40s and have at least one child.
They were cooing over our daughter, a mere two months old at the time, saying how they would love to have another, but they were too old now. "Could you even imagine, trying to look after a newborn when you are 40? the toll on your body would slow you down and make it impossible." They were saying.
Well, yes.... yes I can. While my partner may be in his mid-thirties, I AM 40. This is our first and only child. A gift that I have been waiting for my whole life.
Due to life choices, I had made (and not the good kind as it turned out) I had been denied a family. However, my new partner, a man who has turned my life around for the better, was excited about the prospect of a family, and though it had taken 3 years of trying, is the proudest man a father could be. My age doesn't bother him at all, what is age but just a number.
I face the same challenges any new parent faces, up every 2 hours to feed in the beginning, being puked on so much, it's my new perfume, diaper changes that should come with a radiation warning on them, the fear that you've put them to bed wrong (the fear of SIDS was drilled into me in the hospital) or that your feeding them wrong, not reading enough to them, or the TV show you are watching while they nap is somehow affecting the way that they will grow up (I love Supernatural and Criminal Minds for example).
Also, I had a C-Section. So that comes with its own challenges too, just like it does for anyone else. For 6 weeks post-op, you cannot lift, bend, twist, carry anything over 10 lbs or drive. Now, my partner is a truck driver, and we could only afford for him to have the first week off. So that started when I was discharged. The help was great as I was pretty much confined to bed still. But after that, we had to find a way for me to be able to pick up our daughter without bending down so that I could carry her to the nursery to change her diaper. Make sure that her bottles were close to hand to prepare quickly (I was unable to breastfeed) and have food for me until he got home.
My mother would come over to drive me to appointments, and help with the baby. Getting her dressed, put in the car seat and carried out to the car, and then subsequently into the appointment, but she works too, so when we got back home, she would help me into the house, get settled, and then she had to leave.
Would I have had all these issues if I was 10 or 20 years younger? probably. Does anything change because I'm 40? No. I still have the same challenges as anyone else. Does my body hurt a bit more or take longer to heal? well, I have other health issues, so yes, but my age doesn't have an impact on that.
I am so thankful every day, that my life's dream has come true, I treasure each and every moment with my family and I cannot imagine life without either of them. So if someone says to you, your too old to start a family, blow a big raspberry in their face, laugh, and walk away. You are never too old.
#firsttimemom #newbaby #oldermom #momlife #parentingstruggles #mommyneedsabreak
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