Toothpaste or no toothpaste, that is one question

 So now that we have teeth, we should brush them. We were given a soft starter toothbrush at the baby shower, but no toothpaste. Now, is that because you don't learn with toothpaste at first? Is toothpaste not safe enough for infants as they don't get the concept of spitting it out? Brushing your own teeth is second nature, you don't remember someone teaching you this basic life skill.

How am I supposed to teach her? is there a certain way to do it? And seriously! Toothpaste or no toothpaste?

When we had our last vaccines, we were told that when her teeth start to show, you can start brushing. But that was all the guidance we were given. Hopefully, her pediatrician will go into more detail at her next check-up. Till then, it's off to the grocery store to see what the toothpaste boxes say.

Well, it turns out that you can buy training toothpaste. Did you know that? I feel like at my age I should have. It's designed for infants as young as three months and is safe if (as you know it will be) swallowed. 

So, here begins the teeth brushing journey. I set up her inflatable chair in the bathroom, wet the toothbrush, applied (less than the stated amount) of toothpaste, and looked her dead in the eye. "Ok kid, here goes nothing" I put the toothbrush in her mouth, let her chew on it for a second, then slowly started to "brush" her tiny teeth. Fortunately, she laughed and smiled. We are off to a good start! Now, to do this twice a day.....

#firsttimemom #newbaby #oldermom #momlife #parentingstruggles #mommyneedsabreak

And, we are on the move!

 So, for the last month or so, we have been learning to move. 

Rolling is the current way to go, we roll off the play mat, under the coffee table, under the sofa, into the tv stand, and everywhere that there is an open space. We kinda throw our body around to change direction, but I think that's more luck than anything else. We are learning that it hurts when we get frustrated and slam our head on the floor. 

The jolly jumper? Oh, this is the most amazing thing in the world! when we are done with the rolling, we love to stand up and then bounce, another couple of skills we have been working on too. Stomping our feet, bouncing around to make the music play, standing straight up! 

Unfortunately, our attention span is that of an infant. Short and not always sweet. The rolling is great, as it means mom has to get up constantly to catch me, pull me out from under that furniture, or sit on the floor with me as we work on sitting up on our own. Or she has to stand next to me in the jumper, showing me how to bounce, stand up straight, or pick me up within seconds of putting me in it as I've decided I need a diaper change. 

Mom always makes me laugh when she hast to get me, the grunts and creaking sounds as she bends to pick me up or get up off the floor just make me belly laugh so much! 

Yes, there are days when I have to accept that my body is older than most, and will complain when I ask it to do things. Sometimes, bits of me will crack that I didn't know could, or should. The joints in my knees groan and hurt as I get up off the floor. Good to know that it makes her laugh and that she doesn't understand yet what it means. Good to know too that I have a good chiropractor and massage therapist that I see for some self-love and care, which these old bones need. But once again, the little voice in the back of your head speaks up. You're old. Older than the traditional mom, can you do this?

Silence you! Yes, yes I can do this! 

#firsttimemom #newbaby #oldermom #momlife #parentingstruggles #mommyneedsabreak

What is this strange and unusual stuff you are giving me?

 Real food!!!!

We are now at that age where we can start to introduce real foods. And by real foods, we mean the baby cereals you can buy. Though at first she was limited to oat or rice, now being six months old, she can have oat and rice cereals, but with fruit flakes. Or something out of a jar. 

Breakfast and dinner have now become a great source of entertainment for me and my partner. She has a lot of different facial expressions when trying new foods. If she likes it, she will throw herself forward to get to the spoon as you are trying to get the food onto it. If she doesn't, well, then you chase her face around making nom-nom noises and try to slip the spoon in when she opens her mouth to "talk back to you".

Now, this is where my age comes into play a little. I strongly believe in real home-cooked food. Especially when it comes to my family. It's not very often you will see me cooking with jars and jars of pre-made sauces and things. Don't get me wrong, they are great if you are in a rush, lacking inspiration or time. I do believe that pre-made foods have a place. But being as I am home now, I can take the time to cook foods from scratch and have her sit in her high chair, in the kitchen with me, so I can start to teach her too. I talk to her and explain what I'm doing. Most of the time she is more interested in her toys, but there are moments when I pretend she looks interested. 

The premade baby foods are a great introduction for her and I know that they are formulated to help her grow and are high in iron etc. But, when she gets a bit older and is having three meals a day, I will be making her own food and blending it. A mix of different fruits and vegetables, beef, chicken, all blended together. No seasonings, just let the natural flavors come through. While I know you can buy the little jars of baby food, making my own gives me more control over what she eats. Also, I object to paying almost two dollars for a small jar of food that is gone in two meals. 

As her teeth come in more, and she gets more teeth, we will blend less and less so that she can start to use them and learn how to chew more. My Partner is so excited for her to have her first steak. 

Till then, baby food it is, she loves the multigrain and fruits in the morning and rice with a jar mixed in for flavor in the evening. 

#firsttimemom #newbaby #oldermom #momlife #parentingstruggles #mommyneedsabreak

Teeth! They are cute and small.

 Well, Christmas has come and gone. Christmas day we spent stressing out over cooking, opening presents, spending time with the family, and dealing with teeth.

Yes, on Christmas day we discover why our precious little princess had been impersonating Golem for several days. The fussing and the crying and the screaming. All on repeat. Christmas morning I notice she is chewing on a lot of different things, drooling all over the place and her little cheeks are all red. I look inside her mouth, and there are two little teeth that have popped up, literally overnight. 

Now, I have helped a lot of friends with their children through different stages, but it occurred to me that teething was not one of them. Suddenly, my partner and bouncing baby are both looking at me for help. Here I am looking at google, texting a friend of mine who has two kids of her own. I should know this, I should know what to do to help this little angel. But I don't. 

We do have a teething toy that you put in the freezer, supposed to help the pain and irritation in her gums, that has fortunately been in the freezer for months, so we take it out and give it to her. The look on her face went from, yuk that's cold, to ooo that feels nice too, we're done, I don't want this and got thrown across the room. All within a few seconds. So that's not going to work. I know I can buy teething drops to help, small 1ml vials you pour in her mouth, but it's Christmas day, none of the shops are open. Her Grandma suggests whiskey. Well, I know that back in the day people did. However, we have to be really careful what we give her, she has issues when she was born and took a lot to keep her out of the NICU. Don't want to go there today. 

We dose her up on Tylenol and hope that this will help her till we can get to the shops.

Boxing day was easier. Except, to help her now, she likes to bite. Bite her toys, bite the nipples on the bottles.... bite your fingers/hands/arms/neck, whatever she can reach. She's become a vampire. 

#firsttimemom #newbaby #oldermom #momlife #parentingstruggles #mommyneedsabreak

Hair Dye or not too Hair dye, that is the question.

 Now to say that the grey hair that is slowly taking over my head is a sign of my age, well, it is kinda true. I have a lot of it. Some people call them silver strands, some people call them wisdom hairs (If that's the case, then I'm wise well beyond my years!) however you refer to them, there is a lot. And there are times when it does bother me. 

This plays into the whole "I'm an older mother" and the fears associated with this. Now, I have been dying my hair since I was a teenager. I have done every shade of red, brown, black, blonde, and dabbled in blues and Purple. My natural hair color (which I only remember when I look at photos pre hair dye) bored me when I was younger. It wasn't "hip" enough. The boys all had frosted tips and looked like members of the latest boy bands, the girls all favored Rachel from Friends, and the Goth kids all had bright neon streaks in their hair. 

I wanted to be different, but couldn't find my niche. 

Now, it's not about keeping up with trends or celebrities, it's about not embarrassing my daughter. I also have to remember that she is only 5 months old at this time, and doesn't care that I have grey hair, she loves me regardless. But it still bothers me.  

I have dyed my hair once since she was born, and she was at home to witness it, but she was only weeks old, and only knew the sound of my voice as she couldn't see past her nose. 

So, the question is, do I continue to dye my hair, hide my greys and try to keep up the appearance of being younger (as let's face it, that would be the big reason right now) OR, do I let the grey take over, consume my head and let her see the "real" me? could be a good teaching lesson for when she is old enough to understand....... and be embarrassed.

#firsttimemom #newbaby #oldermom #momlife #parentingstruggles #mommyneedsabreak

Christmas is coming! PANIC!

 Christmas is just around the corner, our first with the little one. 

As far as I was concerned, it was Christmas as usual, I would cook Christmas dinner, we decorate the house and tree, and overspend on each other, just with more focus on overspending on her. 

I had my Christmas baking all planned out, from traditional family cookies to Ukrainian treats for my partner and his family. I knew what dishes I was going to make for dinner and when they needed to be prepared in advance. 

What could go wrong?

Well, We have a 5-month-old, who while can be left alone to roll around on her playmat for a short time, we have a 5-month-old who cannot be left alone for any length of cooking and baking time. She does enjoy her high chair, so I sat her in it with a few toys, and had her with me in the kitchen. "Ok, cooking lesson 1!" I talked to her, explained to her what I was doing and why, and this lasted for a whole 5 minutes before a diaper change was needed and a bottle. Ok, I can't have the stove or oven on in case she falls asleep on me,,,, don't want anything to burn. Ok, I will prepare doughs and other things, so when my partner comes home, he can watch her while I cook. But I also have to cook dinner, so that will take up some of the stove and oven space. And everything will be different cooking temperatures and times, so that won't work either. 

Plan B, prepare what I can wait till the weekend. 

The weekend comes around.... My Partner gets called into work, it's their busiest time and getting busier. He's a truck driver so this will also mean longer hours with the snow and road conditions. So... Might have to rethink the baking and cooking, scale back a bit? 

We have managed to get the tree up, took longer as we worked in shifts to play and interact with our daughter and to keep her from rolling in the way. Like, it took three hours instead of one, and I was cooking dinner at the same time. 

Plan C, Christmas will be done over two days instead of one. His family one day, mine the next. His family will be treated to brunch, with the most adventurous thing being eggnog french toast. Mine will have a baked ham, salad, and some roasted veggies. 

Cookies and treats, well, there is always next year. Walmart has a good selection of premade treats. Now, all we have to focus on is the overspending and finding time to wrap without each other seeing, and her getting into the paper and tape and without the cats destroying the tree.  

There is always next year, right?

#firsttimemom #newbaby #oldermom #momlife #parentingstruggles #mommyneedsabreak

These are not the emotions you are looking for

 Pregnancy will flood you with more emotions than you can handle. In the beginning, I had burst into tears at work one day, uncontrollable crying, for no reason! So much so that I had to leave work. My boss kept laughing at me, especially when, while on the phone with her, I realized I had left my banana at home and this resulted in the ugly crying and almost hyperventilating. 

This did not subside in any way, throughout the whole nine months, any little thing could set me off (Never ask my partner to confirm this, he will reference Jurassic park, fallen kingdom, and then make fun of me as I cry again.)

To my DISMAY, this continues to the day, 5-6 months after she arrived. I didn't think that everything would return to normal straight away, but come on! My beautiful baby girl is learning to roll over, she rolled so much that she rolled off her play mat, and bumped her head on the leg of the coffee table, not hard let's be clear, it was a little tap. But it made her cry, and it made me cry as I picked her up to comfort her. Why was I crying? she was fine, no blood, no bruising, just a little tap! I was crying harder than she was!! Big Momma bear turned into a wreck. 

My partner came home later that day and I told him what happened, and that I cried too, he laughed (as I'm sure you are now too) but instead of laughing with him as any normal person would, I got mad. I couldn't help it, I was mad at him, so much so I couldn't talk to him for about half an hour. There was no reason for it. I'm normally a very happy person, in our whole relationship, I think we have only argued once or twice. We laugh at everything and talk like normal rational people, but today, I was a horrible person. 

I reached out to some other mom friends of mine, the response was the same from all of them, You're still dealing with hormones, this will make you irrationally emotional. It takes longer than a few months for those to return to normal if they ever will. 

I spent two days apologizing to my partner, we both laugh now, he even makes fun of me for it. Good to know it happens to everyone, I'm not abnormal. 

#firsttimemom #newbaby #oldermom #momlife #parentingstruggles #mommyneedsabreak